Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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