It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
not ubering you a puppy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
