yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
