i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
