Where is the hickey?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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