I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
