shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
