ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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We left the knife in your bed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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