I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She announced her abortion via fbk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
