forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
