this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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