She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
