You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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