i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
