dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
