last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
