So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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