Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
