butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
