I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
