I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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