And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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