so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
