Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i believe in u and ur pee
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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