I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
