If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize