I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
