need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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