ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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