I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
