My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
