your thong is hanging out like whoa
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
