never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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