Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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