Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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