we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
try to milk me bitch
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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