I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
