yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
