Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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