id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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