what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
