Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
