yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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