I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
