He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
