If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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