First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize