shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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