You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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