i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize