Non-Jews are for practice
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
