Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
