I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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