im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
