Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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