I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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