Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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