Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
