Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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