Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
