this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.