Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
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Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with