I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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