i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.