Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

Fav 4 1754 810
share tweet
(848): View more from New Jersey

I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa

Fav 152 6693 58534
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(337): View more from Louisiana

Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

Fav 11 4233 1191
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.

Fav 15 4800 1450
share tweet
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

Fav 17 4286 1099
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up

Fav 0 2102 947
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

Fav 3 1613 939
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(979): View more from Texas

I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.

Fav 4 991 1738
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.

Fav 1 28 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT