Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
be right there i have to get my cape
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that